February 01, 2012
I work with teenage girls with behavioral disorders, and i am intimidated by them, please offer any advice?!?
Category: Behavioral Disorders
I enjoy the work but i have a few insecurities of my own that make me scared or fearful of these girls. it takes me back to high and middle school, peer pressure and everything else. I would like advice on how to fit in, to not be antisocial, to not be closed but to be open to them.
9 Responses to “I work with teenage girls with behavioral disorders, and i am intimidated by them, please offer any advice?!?”
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February 1st, 2012 at 10:49 am
If they sense you are afraid of them, they will take advantage of it. And, as a teacher, counselor, or whatever your job is, you don’t have to “fit in”. Your job is not to be one of them. Your job is to be an adult and provide guidance or whatever service your job provides. Read some articles about teenage girls with behavioral disorders. I am sure there is a medical or psychiatric journal for your field, read that. Talk to other staff/teachers who work with them and ask them for ideas. Nowadays psychological help is provided in a treatment team modality, discuss the cases with some other members of your team. And until you resolve your own past issues with peer pressure, etc., you can’t be much help to others.
February 1st, 2012 at 11:41 am
Just lose your fear. Say whatever is on your mind. Some of the most intimidating people are acting to be that way on purpose. They also have insecurities and pains and troubles. Intimidation is a defense mechanism. It is just a mask on their faces. Some don’t know how to be any other way. I had to go to anger management and it wasn’t until then that I found out what people thought of me. I always wondered why people stayed away from me and it was out of fear. They thought I was mean and didn’t want to be approached. I was just hurt in the past and I thought if I was mean and rude and acted like I didn’t care about anything and anyone that i wouldn’t get hurt again. Trust me they are just as insecure as you are.
February 1st, 2012 at 11:54 am
you have a job and should be professional not their friends. If you think you should be a friend you useless to them, becuse then you are like them and they need help, right?
So do your job or quit.
February 1st, 2012 at 12:53 pm
I strongly suggest you talk to your supervisor about this. You may have PTSD that will arise when you deal with situations surrounding these girls, and you may benefit more by working behind the scenes. I volunteered at a Domestic Violence Organization, I really wanted to help, but my past got in the way. These girls are sensing your vulnerabilities. You don’t need any more abuse. Please find a different way to help.
February 1st, 2012 at 1:26 pm
You have to show these girls they don’t scare you and that they cannot control you whether it’s true or not. They will never respect you if they can scare you. Fake it if you have to or take assertiveness training because that is why they are there——–to beat you down with fear tactics because they want you to think they are so hardened and can’t be changed!! (They desperately want to be loved though)
February 1st, 2012 at 1:30 pm
It’s always a little difficult getting used to dealing with people with behavioral disorders. Just remember they’re like everyone else except for the specific problems. What appears to be toughness like you remember from school bullies is not toughness in the same way, Often the toughness was a defense mechanism they learned from some kind of abuse or accident. Beneath that they are often like very young children. My husband and I have worked with kids like this and sometimes if they fall down and skin their knee what appeared like a large tough 16 yr old boy will cry like a 4 year old because emotionally they are trapped at that age when the incident occurred. They need a combination of love, acceptance and tough love. They need to know very clearly where the lines are so don’t try to be friends on their level. You can be a friendly adult but there must be a line they cannot cross. The consequences for unacceptable behavior needs to be set out BEFORE anything happens so it helps if you can think ahead and write down what behavior is expected and what consequences will be if they are not met. All children do better with clear guidelines but especially anyone with behavioral disorders. Do NOT show fear of them because they are expert at sensing that and will take advantage of it. Just know that YOU are in charge and you can take care of yourself.
Good luck! We need more people like you who are willing to take on some of these type of jobs that so many others run from. Yes it’s a hard job but very rewarding,
February 1st, 2012 at 2:19 pm
let them know that you understand their situation, that you are a friend and you’re there to help them. to be able to relate to this kids, you need to share with them what you’ve been through and what you have become. making yourself as a good example will open their hearts to you for they know that you can relate to them through your experience in life. congratulations on your job and i salute you. take care and good luck!
February 1st, 2012 at 2:46 pm
Be honest with them. Focus on your job as the leader of the group and enforce the rules always. If there are rules that are broken report it immediately. This will let them know you mean business. If you come across a situation that you do not know how to handle then say nothing. Call your supervisor.
February 1st, 2012 at 3:12 pm
Time for a career change. These girls cannot be helped by a person who fears them. You can’t just put on an act of bravery either. They will know and you won’t be fooling anyone. You are a danger to them and to yourself. Good intentions are not enough in this case. Do something else with your education.